Confidence crisis!

[ChrisCornwall]

Hi all,

Just wondering if anyone else has experienced something that I have found myself dealing with recently... Have you ever heard a story where someone is driving down the motorway and all of a sudden the driver pulls over and feels they cannot drive anymore with no rational explanation...?

Well, I've been a kitchen fitter for just over ten years now, found myself in a really good apprenticeship for a few years and continued within the apprenticeship whilst working for a kitchen make over company. (I also have a C&G in carpentry.) I've fitted many kitchens privately from design, supply and installation. My plumbing skills and knowledge are adequate and I have refrained from learning too much electrics, I leave all electrics to my electrician, 'a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing'!

The last few months I have been fitting for a large well known diy company that we all know and love, and, I don't know, been suffering with some kind of performance related anxiety that's doing my head in! I feel like I'm constantly having to prove my ability and I've started to doubt myself. I know I'm not the most experienced fitter and I'm sure it would be fair to say we all learn new things often, I enjoy learning about new products and working out how to fit new to the market products.

I have always been a confident fitter so why do I now find myself lying awake at night worrying about going to work, feeling that I don't want to a job that I've always loved for fear of not being able to complete the job to the highest standard. I have always been a bit of a perfectionist, which has always done my head in, I sometimes wish I wasn't, but it is so important to me to receive positive feedback as I value my reputation... (perhaps a bit too much...?)

So, why do I now find myself dreading doing a job that I have always loved doing, why have I started to feel this way and how can I snap out of it?

Anyone else ever felt this way? Any advice or Clints would be appreciated,

Thank you for reading...

[andy5405]

My confidence in my abilities is very up and down. It's part of being human. Ride it out, it will get better.

[ChrisCornwall]

My confidence in my abilities is very up and down. It's part of being human. Ride it out, it will get better.

Thanks Andy, I'm sure I'll get my mojo back, just don't know why I feel so inadequate at the moment when deep down I know I'm a good fitter, as you say we are human... Thanks again bud.

[Claydon Lad]

Hi Chris,
I think from time to time we must all have those sort of feelings crop up every now and then. 
Also from what you have said, that being A bit of a perfectionist and completing jobs to the highest standard just proves that you care about what you do, and not just doing a job solely for just a way of earning a wage.

Maybe it's the way that this DIY company you are doing the work for are treating you as a whole? Perhaps it maybe the fact that you feel you're not in full control of things - ordering, schedule etc? Or just maybe you can't 'pick and choose' the jobs you take on.....or say no to. 

One thing I've come to realise over the years I've been doing this kind of work, is NEVER doubt yourself. Especially if you know you have the right kind of attitude. There are plenty of 'fitters' who work for one of these larger high street chains who don't give a monkeys.

Things happen for a reason....ride it out as Andy says.  

[Daz Gizmo]

Welcome Chris

It sounds how I feel too at times and went back on antidepressants (Sertraline) and they really have helped with that feeling of anxiety of not wanting to go to work. If it starts to get to bad that your health starts dropping off then I would make an appointment to see your doctor. Drugs are not always the answer and other things can help like talking to someone or changing something in your life that is causing it...

[ChrisCornwall]

Hi Chris,
I think from time to time we must all have those sort of feelings crop up every now and then. 
Also from what you have said, that being A bit of a perfectionist and completing jobs to the highest standard just proves that you care about what you do, and not just doing a job solely for just a way of earning a wage.

Maybe it's the way that this DIY company you are doing the work for are treating you as a whole? Perhaps it maybe the fact that you feel you're not in full control of things - ordering, schedule etc? Or just maybe you can't 'pick and choose' the jobs you take on.....or say no to. 

One thing I've come to realise over the years I've been doing this kind of work, is NEVER doubt yourself. Especially if you know you have the right kind of attitude. There are plenty of 'fitters' who work for one of these larger high street chains who don't give a monkeys.

Things happen for a reason....ride it out as Andy says.  

Awesome words, thank you, yeah I think you might be on to something as b&q do all the designing and ordering etc. It's maybe making me feel out of full control. The idea was to start fitting with b&q to make my life less stressful and try and spend a bit more time with my 18m old daughter, I've never felt so stressed lol!

[ChrisCornwall]

Welcome Chris

It sounds how I feel too at times and went back on antidepressants (Sertraline) and they really have helped with that feeling of anxiety of not wanting to go to work. If it starts to get to bad that your health starts dropping off then I would make an appointment to see your doctor. Drugs are not always the answer and other things can help like talking to someone or changing something in your life that is causing it...

Thanks very much for the comment, I think talking about it is definitely a good idea, I joined this forum a while ago to talk about it but backed off. Now I'm starting to get more stressed I've gone ahead and put it up for discussion. I'm thinking about talking to my electrician and gas plumber about it but I don't want to 'show any cracks' in my confidence... (It's diffent talking to people on here that I don't work with). Home life is all good, couldn't be better. I've finished a few kitchens and a bathroom for b&q, all with 10/10 feedback but this performance anxiety is making me feel sick panicky and shakey, especially when the customers are around...

[Claydon Lad]

Wouldn't worry about when the customers are around....
We had customers who take a weeks holiday so they are home at the time of any refurbs. After all, the reason you are there doing the job in the first place is that they can't !!

When showing some of the prep work that will be covered later, and explaining the reasons why doing it in such a way can only reassure their curiosity.

[Daz Gizmo]

Thanks very much for the comment, I think talking about it is definitely a good idea, I joined this forum a while ago to talk about it but backed off. Now I'm starting to get more stressed I've gone ahead and put it up for discussion. I'm thinking about talking to my electrician and gas plumber about it but I don't want to 'show any cracks' in my confidence... (It's diffent talking to people on here that I don't work with). Home life is all good, couldn't be better. I've finished a few kitchens and a bathroom for b&q, all with 10/10 feedback but this performance anxiety is making me feel sick panicky and shakey, especially when the customers are around...

Yes... not wanting to show cracks actually added to my problems so I told my boss and his wife and it was a weight off my shoulders and I improved my performance. I think the problem is that we are conditioned to keep it all in and we have to be strong and hide our feelings. Eventually some of us that do try to hide and it can lead to disaster.

The thing I often use to keep me sane it that we are not alone in how we are feeling... it kind of natural, "fight or flight", but some of us find it harder to cope at times.

This website may offer some advise and there is loads out there - http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/12-suref...ss-0513155